In this special Q&A episode, we dive into some of the most heartfelt questions from our listeners. From the complex question of whether to expand the family to grappling with grief, boundaries in marriage, and integrating elderly parents into a household, these issues strike at the core of family life. We also tackle how to balance the call to evangelize in a world that often conflicts with our values—especially when raising children in today’s cultural climate. Join us as we explore these tough topics with compassion, real-life insights, and guidance for finding peace, strength, and unity in family life amidst life’s many challenges.
Couple Discussion Questions
Expanding the Family: How do we each feel about the possibility of having more children, and what are our hopes or concerns? How can we respect and support each other’s feelings in this decision?
Emotional Connection and Boundaries: Are there areas where we hold back in sharing our emotions? How can we create a safe space to be vulnerable and open with each other?
Navigating Grief and Hard Times: How have we supported each other through past challenges, and what can we learn from those experiences to better support each other now?
Integrating Family Generations: If we needed to bring an elderly family member into our home, what expectations and boundaries would help create harmony for everyone?
Raising Kids with Faith in a Secular Culture: What are our biggest concerns about raising children in today’s world, and how do we feel called to engage with those who have different values while protecting our family’s faith?
“It’s important that we remember to talk ‘to’ our kids, not ‘at’ them” - Mark Hart
Parents are rightly concerned today about the influence of the culture on their teens. As much as we would like to put our kids in a teflon bubble to shield them from the false fake culture of the world, it is just not possible! What do our kids need from us to prepare them for life? Join us in this podcast for a conversation with Mark Hart of Lifeteen - a speaker, author, and parent himself of teens and adult children. Mark gives us some great insights (and laughs!) on how to talk to your kids, what they are REALLY looking for, and what not to be afraid of. We were blessed in this conversation and we are thrilled to be able to share it with you!
Kids need space to ask questions and have conversations with their parents without feeling judged. Pushing back is a natural part of maturation.
Teens demand authenticity! They challenge us to be real and that is good for us and for the Church.
Talk “to” your kids, not “at” them.
Significant conversations with our teens allow our lives to re-echo across the generations. Take time for conversations.
For parents, the 20 minutes you spend focused on your child and not on yourself is as spiritually beneficial as a Holy Hour!
Parents should be less concerned with WHAT your child knows and more concerned about WHO is teaching them and where they are getting their information from
God entrusted these souls to you for a season. They will not be living under your roof forever.
See your child as a whole person. You need to spend time with them and really “see” them.
A successful home has three altars: the dinner table to share life and food, the coffee table to gather with family and friends for ideas and fun, and the marriage bed that forms the foundation of the family.
Parents often think of themselves as a hose that ideas and prayer comes through, but we need to be like a fountain - filled up so much in ourselves that we spill over onto our spouse, children, and everyone around us.
Looking at the maturity of our children, are we protecting them too much? Not enough?
How are we doing in using the “three altars” of our home? Are all three of them places that are giving life to our family?
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It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than in a mansion with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 25:24
All of us do things that annoy our spouse. Occasionally, we do things that hurt our spouse and vice versa. How do we communicate about these situations? Is it effective to tell them what they have done wrong? Is that what the scriptures tell us to do? In this episode, we discuss what it means to take “extreme ownership” of our own actions and emotions before trying to “fix” your spouse. We believe that the key to a strong marriage is finding how you can support each other on the road to heaven - and that means having the humility to see your own weaknesses first and embracing them. Once you have sought forgiveness and healed the relationship, then a conversation about how things could have gone differently can be more productive. Listen in to hear how you can move more intentionally towards unity through communication and forgiveness.
Couples need to take the principles of “gentle parenting” and apply them to each other! Skills like expressing empathy, giving guidance, and articulating feelings are all needed in marriage.
When you correct someone, you put yourself above them. This is appropriate in a parent/child relationship, or even a boss/employee relationship, but really not in marriage where you have two equals.
We can help our spouses to be self-reflective about situations by asking questions that can help them think about what they wanted the outcome to be and what actually happened.
What can I do better to help you in areas that you want to grow in?
Who is challenging me? Who do I look to as an example, as a mentor to progress in holiness?
How can my spouse help me?
“You can learn many things from toddlers! For example, how much patience you actually have.”
-Anonymous
One blessing of having ten kids is that we have matured and learned enough about kids to appreciate the toddler years of children #9 and 10 much more than those years with children #1 and 2. Our advice to parents of toddlers is to start by enjoying them! It’s hard to do when they are destroying your house and embarrassing you in public, but with a few strategies and consistency on your part, you can begin to see that this little bundle of creative energy has been amazingly designed by the Divine Creator. It’s all part of His plan to get this child to adulthood and independence, and to get you to heaven!
All children need to be delighted in, but especially the young child! Take time to relax and enjoy them.
Toddlers challenge us to begin saying “yes” to them and their needs and “no” to our own desires. This is the great vocation of parenting!
Giving choices is good, but don’t burden them by giving them too many choices.
When they are having a tantrum, the question you should ask yourself is “what is the need here?” and then choose to respond NOT react. Through your calmness you are teaching them that you are in charge and they are not.
Routine and stability are key! When they have a natural flow to their day that is predictable they can tend to be more peaceful.
What are our natural responses to our toddlers? What do we think about that?
What are our toddlers emotional outbursts like? What triggers them? How can we respond?
What is our normal routine for our children? Is this working for them?
What do we do with our toddlers at mass? Is this is a good plan?
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