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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Parenting is not a clean-cut, simple process for those who like to follow the rules. Family life is messy and unpredictable, but it is the greatest adventure you will ever have. We are Mike and Alicia Hernon, parents of 10 children ranging from 10 to 27 and we would like to invite you into some of the conversations we have had with each other about marriage, parenting, and Catholic family life. Our hope is that our conversation sparks a dialogue between you and your spouse that leads to greater unity and intentional Christian parenting in your home. Listen in to our podcast and start the conversation as we seek to lead our families to heaven. Visit us at https:///www/MessyFamilyProject.org for resources, guides, links and show notes.
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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
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Now displaying: June, 2024
Jun 24, 2024

The greatest and most important collaboration you will ever have with another person is raising a child with your spouse.

 

Summary

Parents come to us with discipline issues all the time and our first question is usually, “What does your spouse think about this?”  You see, the most important person to learn from is the other parent of this child you are trying to raise!  It is when moms and dads work together that the greatest power is unleashed in parenting and that is when we can do the most good for our children.  Instead of focusing on your child and their behavior, focus first on yourself, then on how you and your spouse work together, and then you can come up with the best way to love your child and form them.  Listen in to this re-release of our 2019 podcast, Parenting as a Team.  

 

Key Takeaways

  • The best thing you can do for your children is to not focus on them, but focus on your spouse first, and them second. Prioritize your relationship! 

  • Strength is found in your differences!  Respect what each one of you brings to the table.  

  • God never meant for you to be parents alone, or even just the two of you.  He wants to give you all the grace you need if you will just ask Him for it.  

 

Couple Discussion Questions

  • What do you admire about how your spouse parents your kids? Tell them this.  

  • What is the biggest difference between you in how you parent?  How is this a strength? 

  • Take time this week to sit down and talk about your kids and how they are doing.  Make a plan to help them as best you can. 

Resources

Tip Sheet

Worksheet from Discipline guide

Jun 17, 2024

Parenting isn’t about doing everything perfectly.  It's about showing up over and over again no matter what.  

 

Summary

Some may question how a celibate man could have wisdom for husbands and wives, let alone parents.  But in this interview with Fr. Mike Schmitz, host of the Bible in a Year podcast, we think everyone will agree that his insights are awesome! Drawing from his own family experience as well as his role as a spiritual father, Fr. Mike shares with us how to love children who have fallen away from the church, the importance of your marriage to your walk with God, and why you actually don’t need to have the perfect plan for your family. In this conversation we laughed and cried as we reflected on the beauty and difficulties of life in a family (with some special shoutouts to middle children!).  Listen in as we have an honest and inspiring talk with a priest whose ministry has blessed so many.  



Key Takeaways

  • Our family of origin impacts us more than almost anything else in our lives.

  • Parents put so much pressure on themselves to be perfect that sometimes they miss out on the joy of family life. 

  • It's more important that we are intentional about family life than we have the “perfect plan” on how to be a family.

  • It's not a bad thing for kids to see their parents have conflict as long as they are also able to experience the effects of their reconciliation. 

  • We can’t make the world safe for our kids, but we do need to make our kids strong.

  • The heart of the Father is the heart of the priesthood. 

  • If someone falls away from the Church, we may be tempted to cut them out or approve of everything they do, but neither is correct.   Remain in their lives in a consistent and uncompromising way, recognizing that their story isn’t over. 

 

Couple Discussion Questions

  • Are there areas in our family life that we need to evaluate and possibly change?  Is there a course we are on that we need to correct?  

  • Knowing that our kids will be growing up in a difficult world, how can we make them strong? 

  • How can we respond better to those who have turned away from Christ or His Church?  How can we keep those lines of communication open?  

  • Who are the “spiritual fathers” in our life?  How can we pray for them?



Resources

Bible in a Year Podcast

Ascension videos w Fr Mike

 

Introduction and Fundraising Campaign (0:00 - 4:04) Interview with Father Mike Schmitz Begins (4:04 - 5:09) Father Mike Schmitz's Background (5:09 - 7:02) Parenting and Family Life (7:02 - 13:23) Insights on Parenting and Perfection (13:23 - 18:13) Parental Sacrifice and Consistency (00:19:32 - 00:21:28) Parental Influence and Decision-Making (00:21:28 - 00:23:42) Navigating Marital Challenges (00:23:43 - 00:27:37) Spiritual Fatherhood (00:37:06 - 00:38:41) Parenting Journey and Impact (00:38:42 - 00:41:36) Understanding Parental Heartache (00:46:43:18 - 00:47:31:20) Dealing with Children Leaving Faith (00:47:31:22 - 00:48:57:00) Parental Support and Communication (00:50:29:03 - 00:52:37:11) Sexual Intimacy and Spirituality (00:56:53:17 - 00:58:32:06) Blessing and Spiritual Growth (01:02:14:04 - 01:03:32:18)

Jun 10, 2024

Our parents made us sisters, but God made us friends.  

 

Summary

One of the greatest blessings of Alicia’s life is that God gave her 9 brothers and sisters to laugh, play, fight, create, and pray with most of her life! This conversation is from a girls getaway weekend with the five Doman sisters.  Now, because all the Doman siblings are practicing Catholics  in good relationship with each other and their parents, people may put them in a category of “the perfect Catholic family”.  But that is far from true.  As you will hear, each one of these sisters has lived through tragedies and difficulties that were completely unexpected and not chosen by them at all. It is by God’s grace that each one of them has grown into the woman God is calling her to be and it is through that relationship with Christ, as well as the accident of birth, that we are able to have true sisterhood together.  Listen in as we talk about God’s faithfulness through the difficulties of life and how true sisterhood with those in your family and friends are essential to our survival.  

 

Key Takeaways

  • Life is not always easy, but God is near

  • We can learn from those who God gives us, even when they are different from us.  Don’t get frustrated by differences, embrace them!

  • When we are joined together by common faith in Christ, we can develop true friendships

 

Couple Discussion Questions

  • What relationships can we invest more in to develop sisterhood and brotherhood? 

  • Are we happy with our relationships with our siblings?  Why or why not? What can we change about this? 

  • How does sharing values with others change us? 

Jun 3, 2024

Summary

In this episode, we explore the essential aspects of training for virtue and the challenging task of granting freedom to our children. We emphasize the importance of always communicating that you are on their side as a mentor, teacher, and guide, expecting mistakes along the way. We discuss the value of risking giving your child freedom, acknowledging it's not an easy journey. Key discussion points include how to provide more freedom for kids to make good choices, understanding if teens view parents as mentors, and identifying areas needing better boundaries and more training at home. Join us for practical strategies and insights to support your children in making virtuous choices while balancing freedom and boundaries.

 

Key Takeaways

  • Always communicate that you are on their side as a mentor, teacher, and guide. 

  • Expect mistakes

  • Be willing to risk giving your child freedom - beware!  It's not easy! 

Couple discussion questions

 

  • How can we give our kids more freedom to make good choices? What are my fears about this? 

  • Do my teens see me as a mentor?  Why or why not.  Plan some time to talk to them about this.  

  • Where do we need better boundaries in our home?  What are the areas in which our children need more training? 

 

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